I asked ChatGPT to “provide analysis and feedback” on the first scene of each of my books; Part 4: Old Wizards Home

In Parts 1 and 2 the A.I. was a bit lost and didn’t really understand what it was reading. Part 3 it fared well, and while I didn’t agree with it, there was some believable feedback I could imagine an editor gave.

This time, we’ll use the opening scene of Old Wizards Home, in which Rodius watches Sister Emerelda enter his room and… well, just read the excerpt from Amazon first.

Here’s what ChatGPT says:

Thank you for sharing the first scene of your novel with me. Overall, I think you have created a strong opening that immediately introduces the main character and sets the tone for the rest of the story. The description of Sister Emerelda as a “hawkish” and “treacherous” elf adds an element of intrigue and sets the stage for potential conflict between her and the main character, Rodius.

So polite! You’re welcome, new master of our lives. As always, ever the tone of a pleasant and nurturing teacher, discussing what I did well before bringing out the red pen.

I also appreciate the clear setting you have established with the description of the common room and the mention of the “anti-magic field.” This helps to give the reader a sense of the world the story is set in and the rules that are in place.

Curious, this is almost like it’s saying that compared to what I fed it before, it likes this more. The missing setting and context it claimed the other scenes had, aren’t missing in this one. Is that just subjective, or am I a better writer with my third novel?

One suggestion I have for improving the scene is to consider providing more context for the reader. While it is clear that there is a history between Rodius and Delevar, and that there is tension between them, it might be helpful to give the reader a bit more information about their relationship and why they are enemies. This could help to add depth to the scene and make it more engaging for the reader.

And once again, I don’t agree. I’d even go so far as to say it’s objectively wrong. The relationship between Rodius and Delevar is explained, at least in so much as the reader needs at this moment. At this moment, they’re almost little more than archetypes with which the rest of the book starts moving around.

But as before, this feedback sounds real. I could have read this on a reddit post and thought about it. I’d have still disagreed even if I thought it was from a human, but it’s a point of view that could exist.

Overall, I think you have done a good job in setting the stage for the rest of the story and introducing the main character. I hope these suggestions are helpful, and I look forward to seeing where the story goes from here.

Well, sorry, but I’m not going to give you more of this story.

Lastly I’m going to do the opening to Wild Diplomacy; and after that I’ll give you a big dump of what I think about all this.

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